Do you feel like hurting yourself right now?
A few weeks ago was the 4th anniversary of my daugther, Lisa Tyler's, murder. I ,unfortunately, let many teens down that day by being hospitalized. I have since forgiven myself for letting the teens down because they didn't have a clue as to who I was anyway and I spoke w/ the school councelor asking her to present my Teen Violence Awareness and Prevention day for me. She did so, so there, the teens really weren't let down. Since then also...every counselor or Dr. I speak to (and some friends) keep asking me..'Do you feel like hurting yourself right now?' I say 'no' but what I want to say is this, 'Due to the untimely and violent death of my precious 18 year old daughter Lisa, I have done nothing but hurt you see. My pain at times is unbearable it takes my breath away. I am always hurting...just by being here you see. I must force myself at times to not think of her, to say to myself, she's just in another room or at a friend's...she's just not here right now! Do you SEE??? Then it hits me in the face, I AM hurting right now! I will always be hurting myself right now until I finally get to see Lisa face to face in heaven where she is right now! She is there because of a callous, violent death that should never have happened in the first place...because she wanted to be loved by a boy...not just her mother, father, sisters, and brother. (And countless other family and friends). I am hurting when I talk of her about what our family has done with The Lisa M Tyler Memorial Fund and people say to me, 'Who?, Oh, I'm not familiar with her or that organization.' Oh, how I am hurting myself when I hear that because I work so hard wither her organization, with her memory, talking to teens of teen violence. Talking to anyone and everyone I can of her experience, begging teens to stay safe. Giving out scholarships in her memory. Trying to hock wares to raise funds for teen violence education and scholarships. 'Who? Oh, I'm not familiar with that organization? Is it local?' Yes...you see??? So, the next time you want to ask someone 'Do you feel like hurting yourself right now?' stand back just one more second and realize, the question is almost obsolete as that person is already hurting themselves by fighting to staying alive.
Posted by endingteenviolence.com at 12/5/2010 6:57 AM 
Categories: Teen Violence, Almost four years later...and my head is still spinning!, The death of a child, teen violence issues
Tags: Do you feel like hurting yourself right now The death of a child
Categories: Teen Violence, Almost four years later...and my head is still spinning!, The death of a child, teen violence issues
Tags: Do you feel like hurting yourself right now The death of a child
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